QCF: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5

here are certain names that you read or hear of with games, that possess a modicum of pedigree to its brand, and in turn, they’re guaranteed an opportunity to cement a legacy within the industry and culture, that will endure for years to come—Tony Hawk Pro Skater is such a brand.

Which is why the prospect of a sequel returning back to the roots of the series humble beginnings since the original release fourteen years ago, sounded like an idea that was just begging to print money for Activision this Holiday season.

Too bad that this sentiment couldn’t be farther from the truth; Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 is bad, like, soul-crushingly bad, to be honest with you folks, it’s poop from a butt.

And there isn’t a single excuse for it either—regressing the physics of an engine that’s been awarded for its intuitive physics and the fundamentals of its design is an insult to the franchise that’s supposedly being celebrated for the next generation.

The host of issues are compounded from one key theme; inconsistency. The core mechanics that drive all of the crucial elements of skating in THPS 5 like momentum, and collision, perform in a disjointed manner that defies any sort of systematic process to its execution.

One second you’re rolling a snail’s pace, even after connecting a grind on a sloped surface, then the next second you’re flying to point that where there’s a delay in the game registering player input for movement. As far as tricks go, the logic used for contact detection between you and the environment when attempting a string of tricks and maneuvers is entirely different beast of its own.

While the core dynamics are significantly flawed to begin with, their deficiencies are exacerbated by the monstrously turbulent video output and the chaotic frame rates of the graphics system; the animation of it all is just jarring to look at on screen.

The rates just drop in and out anywhere between 10 FPS, and 60 FPS, at a level that makes precision play a chore; keeping in mind, that precision gameplay is one of the biggest selling points that the Tony Hawk Pro Skater franchise has to offer.

Adding salt to the wound, the visuals that the game struggles to orchestrate doesn’t even remotely resemble the standard of fidelity that this generation of hardware is capable of delivering.

Even if the aforementioned flaws were forgivable; there’s one particular design choice that’s been introduced to this entry of the Birdman’s game series that’s just downright appalling—the “ground slam” technique that’s mapped to the grind trick button.

The addition of this mechanic is not only unnecessary to the dynamics of the Pro Skater gameplay, its nonsensically counterintuitive to any hope of comfortably chaining the myriad of tricks and stunts that define the enjoyment that franchise is famous for.

Now of course, what would a Tony Hawk Pro Skater game be without a collection of goals and missions to chase after in an open-ended level? Well, in this case, ambivalent; that’s the most accurate answer I can sum up because they don’t really add anything to formula that could improve the experience. In some ways, the execution of the whole diminishes any chance the title could be enjoyable even more.

The iconic collectables of series’ letters, DVD’s, and VHS tapes return as free-roaming objectives that can be tackled at leisure, and well, they’re just empty-calorie distractions that’re simply there—the locations of the trinkets doesn’t add anything to incentivize the navigation of the stage’s layout, and their payoff doesn’t feel particularly rewarding either. These things are just there, and the delivery of the whole thing couldn’t be more apathetic to the grand scheme of the title.

The objectives and direction of the missions are just as sloppily thrown together. For example, you’ll have the option of either physically pinpointing areas in the stage activate (possessing awful contextual sensitivity in terms of registry and recognition of input) or you can just select any of them from the pause menu (practically nullifying the need to deal with the first option at all.)

The junkiness continues, as the game will have a delayed response to input that’s done on the Mission Menu UI that will float load in and out over the gameplay screen of your skater a 3-5 seconds after a selection was made. The whole operation isn’t just disorienting, but down right annoying, as it complicates the process of restarting a mission, devolving each retry into a tiresome ordeal within no time flat.

From corralling a load of beach balls out of a pool with some sidewalk surfing skills, to cramming out a non-stop string of tricks in order to keep your head from exploding; the missions in this “fifth” entry are loaded with all of the goofiness you’d expect out of a traditional THPS game, without any of the fun or charm.

Designing a skate park to play around with is limited, and isn’t especially appealing when you factor the challenge of designing a stage that won’t exasperate the numerous flaws that plague the gameplay, and the online multiplayer is an absolute joke anyway.

THPS 5’s campaign is constantly online with other players who’re actively playing the game with you, and while the idea is intriguing in theory, the application of the concept is underwhelming at best, and miserable at worst.

Remember that inconsistent frame rate that I mentioned earlier in the review? Well, the stability degrades to nightmarish levels when you directly engage any direct multiplayer mode, and most of the time, it’s practically unplayable.

Listen, I’m not going to spare any more words here.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 is handily one of the worst, if not, THE worst game to have released in 2015, and not only does it embody everything that defines what a bad, lazy cash-in entry to a revered series is; it drags any goodwill that the brand may have had left, through the mud with how broken it is.

This game is sixty dollars; sixty, dollars! Just writing that sentence alone was disgusting, please do not play this—it’; only do a disservice to you, and the Pro Skater license if you do.